Many of us feel overwhelmed by finances, leading to avoidance and stress. To help us understand the link between money and mental health—and how to find peace—we sat down with Dr. Lisa Carter, a licensed therapist specializing in financial wellness. Dr. Carter works with clients to navigate the emotional side of money and build healthier relationships with their finances.
Q: Why do so many people avoid dealing with their finances?
Dr. Lisa Carter: Avoiding finances is incredibly common, and it often stems from feelings of shame, fear, or overwhelm. People might feel embarrassed about their debt or anxious about not knowing where to start. Our brains are wired to avoid discomfort, so when money feels emotionally charged, avoidance becomes a way to cope.
Unfortunately, avoidance doesn’t make the stress go away—it often makes it worse. The good news is that this cycle can be broken with the right tools and support.
Q: What are the signs that someone’s mental health is being affected by their finances?
Dr. Lisa Carter: Some signs are obvious, like losing sleep over money worries or feeling anxious when you think about your bank account. But there are more subtle signs too, like procrastinating on opening bills, impulsive spending, or feeling emotionally triggered by money conversations.
If you notice that money stress is spilling over into your relationships, work, or physical health—like headaches or fatigue—it’s a sign to take action.
Q: What are the first steps someone can take to stop avoiding their finances?
Dr. Lisa Carter: The first step is to approach yourself with compassion. Instead of beating yourself up for past mistakes, try to reframe your thinking: “I’m taking control now, and that’s what matters.”
From there, start small.
- Step 1: Set aside 15 minutes to look at your bank accounts or write down your debts.
- Step 2: Celebrate that step! Even acknowledging your finances is progress.
- Step 3: Reach out for support. Whether it’s a money coach, a trusted friend, or a financial advisor, having someone to guide you can make the process less overwhelming.
Q: How does financial stress impact relationships?
Dr. Lisa Carter: Money is one of the top causes of tension in relationships. For couples, it can lead to arguments about spending, saving, or debt. For individuals, financial stress can create feelings of isolation—people might avoid socializing because they feel they can’t afford it.
Open communication is key. If you’re in a partnership, start by sharing your feelings about money without blame. Use “I” statements like, “I feel anxious when we don’t talk about our finances.”
Q: Can you share a story of someone who overcame money avoidance?
Dr. Lisa Carter: Sure. One client, Rachel, was in her late 30s and felt completely paralyzed by her $20,000 in credit card debt. She avoided looking at her statements and felt guilty every time she spent money, even on necessities.
Through therapy and coaching, Rachel learned to separate her self-worth from her financial situation. She started tracking her spending for the first time and created a simple repayment plan. It wasn’t easy, but within two years, she was debt-free and, more importantly, free from the shame she’d carried for years.
Q: How can someone balance mental health and financial health when they’re living paycheck to paycheck?
Dr. Lisa Carter: When resources are tight, it’s even more important to focus on small, manageable wins.
- Set micro-goals: Save $5 a week or negotiate one bill.
- Focus on what you can control: You can’t always increase your income overnight, but you can track spending or find free mental health resources.
- Practice self-care: Stress makes it harder to make good financial decisions. Even a 10-minute walk or deep breathing exercise can help you reset.
Q: What role does a money coach play in addressing financial stress?
Dr. Lisa Carter: A money coach can bridge the gap between emotional support and practical guidance. They can help you create a budget, tackle debt, and set financial goals while providing encouragement and accountability.
For many of my clients, working with a coach through a platform like Bolder Money has been transformational. Coaches help break the cycle of avoidance by offering judgment-free support.
Q: What’s one piece of advice you’d give to someone who feels hopeless about their finances?
Dr. Lisa Carter: Remember, you are not alone, and your current situation is not your final destination. It’s easy to feel like your finances define you, but they don’t. Start with one small action—whether it’s checking your bank account, talking to a coach, or simply saying to yourself, “I’m capable of change.”
Change is a process, not an overnight fix. Give yourself grace and take it one step at a time.
Find Peace with Your Money at Bolder Money
If money stress is affecting your life, you don’t have to face it alone. Bolder Money offers compassionate, personalized coaching to help you build confidence, reduce financial stress, and take control of your finances. Schedule a free consultation today and take the first step toward peace of mind.
